last week, i got lost in the forest on my way to my piano teacher's house. the forest looked like this:



she scrubbed my brain and said, "the first round of the competition is in november." my initial panic gave gave way to a determined relief. i hadn't realized how much i'd missed that mindset. clear and purposeful, maybe to a point of myopia. i finally feel like i have something to do. like i've stuck my head out from underwater and the air is warm on my face. (that metaphor is depressingly functional.)

i'll be playing the first movement of ginastera opus 22, the first movement of beethoven's sonata opus 31 no 1, and debussy's etude no 1 -- pour les cinq doits, apres m czerny. it's not a ChineseFighterRobot! set, but it is a funky high energy. i dragged out the ginastera today for the first time since last spring and man it felt like switching on the front christmas lights in the rain.

i feel good, oh i feel so good! suddenly!