'you moved all the way to ohio to work at macy's,' he observes sagely, after realizing i'm not from around here. there follows the usual comments about the mysterious beast, winter, versus that mythical land, california. he's the only gay man of that generation i've ever met who has survived appalacia. we're in the lunch room that's decorated with large red stars and way too many placards that read, 'you matter,' and 'you make macy's stronger', as if the saturation of the ego will balance out the fact that all of us know we're moving clothes, pawns in a massive corporate spidergame and that it doesnt fucking matter.

'i'm moving clothes,' chuckles one of my co-workers earlier in the week. 'i'm not saving the world, but it's bought me a house and a car.'

trucks are stacked with tipping towers of boxes, which need to be unstacked, unwrapped and categorized. some sweaters need to be hung, others folded. certain coats need security tags placed three or four inches up from the bottom, along the seam, on the left side. at first i worked really hard; now i'm working on the delicate art of looking exceptionally busy when, in fact, i'm not doing very much at all. as far as meaningless jobs go, it's a good job.

on wednesday the merchandizing people were two minutes to open and about to start bludgeoning each other with their handheld scanners for being understaffed, overworked, and unprepared for the seven elderly female customers who would come in during the next two hours. i was tagging four hundred dollar purple calvin klein coats, like omens of a monster whose breath we'll start feeling in about a month. i have no responsibility and am therefore invisible. it's awesome.

on tuesday i saved the world by ignoring corporate's prescribed layout for 'holiday toys: girls' and putting the 'i can be!' barbie in a prominent position. on wednesday i saved the world by encouraging a co-worker to cut the cardboard so it could fit in the recycling bin, instead of throwing it away. on friday i saved the world by riding my bike to work in the rain instead of asking my girlfriend if i could borrow the truck. i'm a fucking hero.

the funny part about it is that i'm actually pretty cool with the state of affairs right now.