by david chancellor. here is his webpage.

he is a photographer from south africa but i am really drawn to the pieces that have a flavor of the american west.






something about these resonate on a level with me that has to do with being totally outside. vastness of air and dirt. the feeling of being lonely and safe, or unsafe, of solidarity. you do not stay too still for too long at the same time that your motion comparative to the landscape is so insignificant that this necessary motion is meaningless, is rendered into stillness.

it is difficult to find the same whirling stillness in the city where i currently live.



the photographs also resonate on a level concerning personal strength and integrity. maybe the feeling is just a product of the aforementioned outside-ness -- of how the sense of self becomes distilled. i am jealous of this girl's sure look.

i know that i am romanticizing but i need to do it right now.
i need dirt and sunburn and outside-aloneness!

there is a certain kind of everybody's grandfather who has survived the war (wherever the war was) who likes bear claws. "don't bother putting it in a bag."

i am profiling you.

men talk to me more when i wear makeup.

it is warm and i have money now but am still working on the part with "friends". two weeks ago i went out with a guy from work. i had spent all day in bed with a fever and probably should have stayed there, but i was determined to not cancel my first (and only) social event in the seven months since i have moved here. i felt as though i had forgotten how to have a face-to-face honest conversation; i'm not so good at it any more.

very much a sea of aloneness and my hair smells like bread. is this adulthood?