chris and i are having a standoff with a vending machine. it is staring at us like an astronaut freshly touched down on the planet earth. we have one dollar and twenty five cents between the two of us. one dollar and twenty five cents can get you one orange package of recess pieces that contains three individual candies.
"we can split it," i say, "because we are diplomatic."
"i can have the bigger half," he replies, "because i am a man."
"i can have the bigger half," i say, "because i am menstruating."
it is like the most unnecessary beheading scene in a b-level movie. he leans against the astronaut for support. it purrs lovingly at him. i get the bigger half.
"this is for your vagina," he says.
all our heads fall off.
No comments:
Post a Comment